Philosophobia: The Fear Of Falling In Love

The basis of philosophobia is the fear of being hurt. Its origin may be in the failure of past relationships, since the individual does not want to relive the experience

Most people want to fall in love. So much so that many even develop problems due to their imperative need to find love. But what happens when the opposite happens? What happens when falling in love becomes a problem? In that case, we speak of philophobia.

As the name implies, it is a phobia; in this case, to fall in love with another person and, like all phobia, it is a situation whose importance should not be minimized. Find out everything you need to know about this condition below.

Philphobia and problems with relationships

As has been mentioned and its name indicates, philophobia is a kind of phobia, more common than we can think. The University of Navarra Clinic defines phobias as “a fear of situations or things that are not dangerous.”

In particular, those who suffer from philophobia have a great fear of being in love, something that causes a lot of anxiety and that causes the person to flee from any possible love relationship. Sometimes this is taken much further, and it affects other types of relationships.

People with a very strong philophobia are able to avoid even showing affection from their relatives or avoiding relationships with coworkers, neighbors or friends. In fact, we find ourselves, in addition to anxiety, with a great social phobia.

The big problem that a philosophobic person faces is that they cannot help falling in love. No matter how much you reject this fact, no matter how much you run away from love, the feelings run free and cannot be controlled.

When this happens, anxiety begins to surface, causing you to plunge into a state of discomfort that involves high levels of stress, both emotionally and physically. All this can lead to the person, in very severe cases, becoming socially isolated.

Toxic relationships, relationships that hurt

People who suffer from philophobia, at times, immerse themselves in toxic relationships that will only enhance the state of discomfort they suffer from that fear of love they suffer.

This is why they never get to the end of a relationship. Also because of what, sometimes, they get into potentially toxic relationships.

Thus, a philosophobic person tends to follow, in general, the following behavior pattern to avoid “falling in love” with someone:

• She will maintain simultaneous relationships, something that expresses her clear fear of being abandoned.
• All your relationships will be non-binding relationships.
• In relationships, she will talk little about herself so as not to feel vulnerable.
• Every relationship is a roller coaster, where emotions rise and fall steadily.

A person with philophobia carries many fears loaded on his back that prevent him from establishing healthy relationships, full of trust, sincerity, believing in the other person …

They will always distrust and, therefore, they tend to put into practice defense mechanisms that avoid what they are so afraid of.

If you have been around a philophobic person or have been through it yourself, you will know that when a relationship becomes too serious, they cut their losses. From one day to the next, they stop answering calls, isolate themselves and, in the worst case, disappear.

The origin of philophobia

The truth is that philophobia originates from destructive, toxic or harmful past relationships that have marked our lives.

A very painful divorce, an infidelity that undermined the trust in the couple, a relationship based on abuse … All this can lead to philophobia.

After a totally damaging and traumatic love experience, the person protects themselves against any possible threat that this could happen again. The downside is that they don’t get it, and they get into unhappy and toxic relationships.

Another reason why a person can develop philophobia is the fear of rejection, a very extreme fear that makes them anticipate any abandonment or any love failure. This is very rare, although there may be some cases.

What to do if a person suffers from philophobia?

Of course, the first thing to do should be to face your fear. It will be something very difficult, but necessary. It is important to overcome the problem, because the person with philophobia cannot be happy trying to escape from that fear that he tries to avoid.

You cannot be happy if you allow yourself to be overcome by your own fears. There are many people whose philophobia causes them to plunge into harmful relationships that do not provide them with anything positive.

Overcome your fears, overcome your fear of love. It will be difficult, but it will never be impossible. Allow love to enter your life again.