How To Recognize Absorbing Relationships

Absorbing relationships do not give us room to grow, be happy, or enjoy ourselves outside of the other person’s environment. They are so toxic that they lower us, depress us, and lower our self-esteem.

Some consider that the lack of self-esteem leads us to star in absorbing, toxic and complicated relationships. That ‘need’ to spend all day with your partner can be synonymous with love, but also emotional dependence. Once we have overcome the initial infatuation stage, in which everything revolves around that wonderful being that is by our side, each one should have their own activities and spaces.

Keys to Recognizing Absorbing Relationships

It is very easy to confuse love and passion with dependence. And with the passage of time there are clear signs that that person with whom you have decided to share your days absorbs all your energy, your free hours and your activities. Look out for these signs of absorbing relationships:

1. You stop having autonomy

As we said, it is normal that in the beginning we want to be in love with the other person as long as possible. However, after the initial phase, the first signs of an absorbing relationship begin.

In this way, the loss of autonomy translates into not going to any event without ‘company’. Or to reduce contact with other people (friends or family) by spending time together. It is very important that social life is maintained, even if it is reduced.

The lack of autonomy can also be experienced when all plans are thought for the couple and there is no room for anything individual. Even when we don’t like to watch sports or a romantic movie, we do it to be together.

2. You receive messages and calls continuously

It is nice to receive a few romantic words in the morning or before bed, but when the messages or calls become a ‘bombardment’ it is not pleasant. Above all, if they modify or create problems for us in other environments, such as work or study.

Sweetness and passion turn into annoying and annoying when they are excessive. If he calls you every five minutes ‘because he wants to know how you are’ or ‘because he cannot live without hearing your voice’ it can be a serious problem and, without a doubt, a typical sign in absorbing relationships.

3. You have no privacy

You have given him your passwords for social networks, email and mobile … Read the messages that your friends leave you and have to know who is calling you. Not having privacy is synonymous with being in a toxic and suffocating relationship.

Your partner doesn’t have to go to a birthday or party with you. Especially if the other boyfriends or girlfriends will not go. Nor does he have to accompany you if you want to buy clothes or have a doctor’s appointment.

It may seem nice that he wants to spend as much time with you, but it is essential that each one has his own life. This does not mean that you do not love him or love him less, but we all need a little air, freedom and time to do what we like.

4. Organize your agenda

In relation to the above, it is very dangerous for your partner to tell you what to do and, above all, that he must accompany you in each activity. Each one has their tasks, their obligations and their commitments and, although we can take time to enjoy as a couple, only you have the ability to organize your schedule.

5. It is jealous of you

Jealousy is said to be synonymous with love. However, in some cases we must be very careful because they are typical signs of absorbing relationships.

A very jealous person is not sure of himself, he believes that the other will deceive him at the first carelessness, that he will stop loving him or that he will find someone better and will abandon him forever.

Jealousy can appear at any time and place: with your group of friends, with your work colleagues, with your gym teacher, with a neighbor and even with your family. Do not accept this type of approach, as it can get worse and worse.

At first you will probably listen to him to please him, but later you will regret having allowed those attributions. Nobody has the right to tell you how to dress, who to see, who to work with or what to study. Much less make a scene of jealousy in front of others!

6. Your conditions are always imposed

Finally, another of the signs in absorbing relationships is the pressure that person exerts on their partner. “Choose between your friends / colleagues / work / study / family or me” is a very typical expression.

Being in that situation is quite difficult, because on the one hand we want to spend time with those we love the most, but on the other we cannot neglect our goals, dreams or desires.

What this ‘absorbing’ person does not understand is that by acting like this, the only thing that he achieves is to remove you more and more from your life, not the opposite. As soon as you think about the type of relationship you have, you will not hesitate to leave him.