I Am Not Happy With My Partner, What Do I Do?

Many times we complain saying: “I am not happy with my partner”, when, in fact, we would have to analyze what it is that we are doing wrong in the relationship.

Perhaps, we have forgotten that relationships have to be worked on. Well, simple and pure love does not work to get them forward, but it takes effort and desire, on our part.

Unhappiness sometimes haunts us in love relationships, but instead of regretting or starting to panic, it is necessary to stop to review what is really happening.

Reasons why I am not happy with my partner

There are several reasons why I am no longer happy with my partner. Perhaps I blame the lack of passion, that infidelity that the other committed or that discussion in which he disrespected me.

However, there are some causes that we do not pay attention to, perhaps because they are much deeper and require a more exhaustive analysis.

Let’s see some of them:

1. I do not accept that I feel resentment

If my partner has been unfaithful to me, perhaps he has forgiven her, however, deep down I am deceiving myself. I have not forgiven her completely, I feel resentment.

This may be one of the reasons why I am not happy with my partner and the way to solve it is to accept what I feel.

I am angry? Do I feel a grudge? I must not deceive myself, it is better to accept what I feel.

2. I find it difficult to admit that we do not manage conflicts well

In every relationship there are differences that give rise to discussions and conflicts. However, this should not be a problem, as long as we know how to manage them properly.

Do I listen to the other person? Do I always want to be right? Do I blame you about your past? All of this may be a reason why I am no longer happy with my partner.

It is important that we learn to be assertive in relationships, as stated in this study carried out by the University of Santander (Colombia). We must respect each other at all times, while giving our opinion on an issue or negotiating on it.

The essential thing is that in the end an agreement is reached in which each of the parties agrees with what has been decided and resolved.

Furthermore, a conflict should never be left “for another day. ” It must be solved as soon as possible, without postponing it. This way we will get rid of it and the relationship will be strengthened.

3. Passion is gone

Although, sometimes, we give little importance to sex, it influences the well-being of any relationship. However, sometimes it disappears and we don’t really know why.

We would have to review how is communication with our partner. Each person (and each relationship) is a world in which there are different patterns, and we have to learn to identify what we need and how we can communicate it to the other, as suggested by this research carried out by the University of Murcia (Spain).

Do we express what we want? Are we capable of enjoying relationships or do we see them as an obligation? Do we make time for them or do we put other priorities ahead?

Passion is also cultivated. Stop touching us, giving us affection, starting not to show us affection can cause passion to diminish.

If we do not know how to solve all this ourselves, it is positive that we go to sex therapy or couples therapy. Without a doubt, it will help us a lot.

4. I don’t accept that everything may be over

When I am not happy with my partner, but have been with her for many years, I may refuse to break up. However, this can cause me to be with whom I do not want to be and even consider a possible infidelity.

Sometimes we lack the courage to say “this far” and end a relationship where love has faded and we are no longer happy side by side.

However, being sincere and honest is much better than acting in an unconscious way that leads to a catastrophic end in which we all get hurt.

When you are no longer comfortable in your relationship it is important to analyze whether this can be resolved or has to end. To do this, we need to put self-deception aside and be honest with ourselves and with the other person.

A relationship should make us both happy. If not, we have to solve it now, right?