The Way In Which You Resolve Your Conflicts Talks About You

When it comes to coping with relationships, we can have different selfish or violent reactions. However, we must bear in mind that the relationship is a matter of two and seek mutual benefit

Our life is full of conflicts. Some we solve in a much easier way than others.

However, whether a problem is solved sooner or later does not have to do with the conflict itself, but with our way of proceeding with it.

Today we will describe three ways that a person can resolve a conflict. We will see its characteristics and what they imply. What will yours be?

1. Both parties to conflicts lose out

In conflicts where the two people involved lose, violence, verbal aggression, such as insults, and a lack of empathy towards the other person are present.

One of the two members wants to be right. For this reason, he does not listen and judges the person in front of him very easily.

In the end, nothing is achieved and both parties lose. In addition, they are often left with a bitter taste in their mouths, full of frustration and anger. And the worst thing is that nothing has been resolved.

This type of conflict resolution is not a good thing for relationships, as they tend to be damaged. Sometimes they can even break.

For example, imagine that we are with our partner and it bothers us that he is putting his feet on the table. It is possible that he will get angry, because we have never told him before, and we will take out all our accumulated anger.

The discussion keeps getting bigger, until we start to get dirty laundry from the past. We have gone in other directions that have nothing to do with the main idea of ​​the conflict.

In the end, we are angry, disappointed, and we may even have hurt our partner. All for not knowing how to listen and not having said at the time what bothered us so much.

2. One wins, but the other loses

In this second type of conflict resolution, one of the people wins. However, he does so at the cost of harming and even using violence with the other party.

This happens a lot when a person has a very strong personality and tries to subdue whoever is in front of him. In the end, out of fear, fear or to end this situation, the other person allows himself to throw in the towel.

The person who wins seeks to impose his opinion at all costs. Their reality and their motives are the only valid ones. Therefore, it does not take into account or listen to the other party involved.

Thus, the result is not equitable. One of the members is victorious and satisfied, while the other is upset even though he has admitted defeat.

In the end, a climate of discomfort is created that damages the relationship.

Let’s take the example of the aforementioned couple. If they resolved their conflicts in this way, one of them would end up giving in to the pressure of the other.

He may do it out of fear that his partner will get worse, out of laziness to continue with a meaningless argument … It is like agreeing with the other person knowing that he is not really right.

This, in the long run, is not positive. Each of the members has the right to express what they think and have it taken into account.

However, pride or  the need to be above the other and be right may be more important than ensuring the well-being of the relationship.

3. The two sides of the conflicts are winners

This is the best way to resolve conflicts, as both parties win. Thus, the relationship, instead of being damaged, ends up strengthened.

Both people know how to communicate effectively what they think. In addition, they listen to each other and do not judge at any time.

Staying calm, being assertive and expressing each other’s point of view without resentment and without hints is undoubtedly one of the best ways to resolve conflicts.

Let’s continue with the example previously seen. In this case the two members of the couple listen to each other. Thus, they realize that one did not know what the other was thinking because he had not told them.

In addition, the other realizes that he has to learn to express what he thinks instead of keeping it to himself. Then, an understanding would be reached.

When both parties win, both partners learn, grow, and strengthen the relationship.

How do you resolve your conflicts?